Letting go can be so damn hard…particularly WHEN I AM RIGHT.
I want dogs to stop pooping in my yard. I want my neighbor to stop smoking Marlboros outside my window. I want those kids to pay for the dent in my car.
I’m right, right?
But it ain’t gonna go my way.
It turns out that dogs, teenagers and some adults couldn’t care less about how I feel. And I can’t make anyone do what I want them to do! So lame.
Sure, I could attempt to persuade them to see my side of things. When that fails, I could beg, manipulate or threaten. I could invoke “an eye for an eye” but we all know how that turns out.
When I am attached to things I can’t control, I get dragged through the muck. So what can I do?
I can stop wanting people to be different – even when I’m 100% right about things. Should they be different? Absolutely. Does thinking this way work for me? No, it’s a total drag. (You knew that was coming.)
It’s a drag because the more I want things to be different, the more I suffer. I become super bratty. I start EXPECTING to see poop and smell smoke and get dented. And in my experience — if you go looking for crap, you’ll find it.
I can still take action against the offenders. I can put up a sign in my yard, talk to my neighbor and send a bill to the teenagers. But what if they refuse to cooperate? Am I going to fume forever?
Nah, it’s not worth it.
When I want people to change so that I feel better, I am letting them determine my mood. And their behavior starts to dictate whether or not I have a good day — and that pisses me off even more.
I have accepted the harsh truth that I am not Sheriff of the Universe —
and that the way out is to LET GO.
Peace comes when you are no longer focused on whether or not people change. So, where do you care too much? What does it cost you to keep hanging on?
Try caring a little less and see what happens. You might create some magic in your mind.
I tough love you.
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