The Antidote to Mediocrity

March 13, 2012 | Category: Change, Desire, Letting Go

On Sunday mornings, I ride my bike to yoga class on the beach. My fellow yogis and I practice throughout winter’s wind and cold. (Okay yes, it’s a SoCal winter but chilly still!) On warmer days, we attempt poses in the crashing waves. Surprisingly, I’ve mastered nothing about yoga except the self-titled Falling Pose. After years of practice, you’d think I would improve or switch to badminton. Instead, I keep going to class. Why do I love something that is a struggle? Let’s ask my brain. 

MY BRAIN: When you are pushed to the edge of comfort, I release dopamine — which creates feelings of satisfaction, enjoyment and excitement.

ME: So, I have to be uncomfortable to feel good?

MY BRAIN: Yes, the struggle is key. The road to mediocrity is smooth and easy. The road to mastery is steep.

ME: If I received that in a fortune cookie, I’d burn it. Seriously, how do I master something?

MY BRAIN: You try it and see what could be better. And try it again. This is called deep practice.

ME: WTH?

MY BRAIN: You will begin to master yoga after you have spent 10,000 hours in deep practice.

ME: WTH?

I’m getting schooled by my brain and its associate, Malcolm Gladwell. In the book, Outliers, Gladwell explains that success requires practicing a specific task for approximately 10,000 hours. This amounts to roughly 90 minutes a day for 20 years. Before becoming a life coach, the only thing I mastered was worry and worry never solved a single problem. Now I’m trading up and staring down 10,000 hours of yoga.

COACH WENDY PRESENTS:  HOW TO MASTER SOMETHING

1. Stretch yourself (and not just for yoga). We are not happy at “easy”. Instead, we are happy working just beyond where we feel capable. For scientific proof, check out Five Things Happy People Do.
2. Be willing to screw up. You will never do anything well if you aren’t willing to do it badly. Once I decided it was okay to fall, yoga was more fun and amusing (at least for the people around me).
3. Repeat 10,000 times. (You knew this was coming, right?) 

10,000 hours can feel overwhelming. To keep frustrations low, I engage in some mental martial arts. Knowing that mastery will take many, many years can lessen the immediate pressure. I won’t be an expert this week or the week after that or the year after that. It’s going to take 10,000 hours so I might as well enjoy the ride. It is possible to strive and relax at the same time. And if I am relaxed, I can actually go further with yoga. 

Is there a skill you’d like to master? A passion that is tugging you? The sooner you complete the first 1,000 hours, the sooner you will complete the remaining 9,000. Just begin.

$#*! My Mind Says

November 15, 2010 | Category: Change, Peace

My head is full of debris. Like the CNN ticker, a bazillion thoughts run through my mind a day. Where is the cat, the coffee, the WD40? When is the guy coming to cut the lawn? Crap, it’s hot in here. What time is it? Where do I park? Fortunately, most of these thoughts don’t affect me. They merely flash for a second and then float on by.

There is another breed of thoughts in my head. Instead of floating, they come at me from a red-hot flare gun. I better not screw up. I’m running out of time. There is not enough money / energy / jobs / love / sleep. Sure hope I don’t get cancer. Can you feel the difference? These thoughts are charged with panic, anxiety and fear. We tend to dodge these thoughts by distracting ourselves. I don’t have time to think like this. Let’s move, move, MOVE!

We can attempt to dodge, but flare gun thoughts have phenomenal boomerang capabilities. And once you focus on a stressful thought, it becomes easier to think it a second, third and 39th time. This creates a rut in your thinking and can negatively affect your perspective.

And here’s the kicker: stressful thoughts can bring about the very thing we wish to avoid. You know about the placebo effect. Well, say hello to its cousin — nocebo effect.

nocebo effect (n.): the phenomenon in which the expectation of a negative outcome actually leads to that outcome.

Let’s say that I’m continually thinking, “There is not enough time.” This makes me feel anxious, panicky and FREAKED OUT. Operating from this state makes it difficult to think clearly. I feel scattered. I am less productive and; therefore, I am literally wasting time. The nocebo effect is proven.

And now for some good news.

Our brains are flexible and capable of change. This means that we can coax an anxious mind toward a happier outlook. Try flipping the stressful thought. Consider its opposite by thinking, “There is enough time.” Imagine for a few seconds that this is true. Hey, perhaps on some level it IS true. Can you feel a smidgen of hope? Perhaps a slight relaxation in your body and mind? If you are like me, you are now in a better position to make good use of your time.

Your thoughts can take you to a bad neighborhood in your mind, but they are also the way out. You can transform the nocebo effect into placebo effect anytime you want. I invite you to drop the thoughts that weaken you and pick up thoughts that feel more peaceful. Repeat. Continue until this state becomes natural. It can take time to undo the deep ruts in your brain, but keep practicing. With focused attention, you can literally rewire your brain and develop a new perspective.

To learn more about being the boss of your brain, check out this summary of Brain Rules: 12 Principles for Surviving and Thriving at Work, Home and School.

And if you are ready to be the boss of your life, check out how I can help.