May 15, 2012 | Category: Desire, Dreams
I’ve been making some magic — in spite of myself. Since I don’t want to bogart the magic, I’m revealing the secret for other wanna-be wizards.
You’ll see I’ve got nothing up my sleeve…
The Magic Touch
Magic happens when you wish for something AND let go of your need for it to happen.
What kind of hocus pocus is that?!
Well, think of it as walking a tightrope between desire and detachment.
Desire + Detachment = Magic
My magical method is accidental because I sometimes forget about my dreams. I submit to you three recent examples:
1) The Dalai Lama was coming to San Diego. I don’t read his books or follow him on Facebook, but I know he is one cool dude. I tried to get tickets and they sold out in minutes. Initially I was disappointed, but soon forgot about it. Fast forward a few months to a cocktail reception in Scottsdale. Some party people were talking about the Dalai Lama and I said, “I tried to get tickets but couldn’t.” A stranger said to me, ”I have an extra ticket. Do you want it?” Voila.
2) You may know about my desire to work with military families. For a number of reasons, I’ve had a heck of time reaching this audience. I’ve tried various approaches, but ended up frustrated and tired. I decided to put away that dream for a while. I kept the desire, but let go of the “how” and “when”. Months later, I was contacted by an organization devoted to military spouses. I am now serving on their board of directors. Abracadabra.
3) For a long time, I have dreamed of going on a safari. Each year I felt a deep longing, but that trip was not in the budget. And with every missed opportunity, I felt sad. This year I decided to feel the desire without being sad. I was okay with waiting another year or two or more. I truly let go and felt peaceful about it. That same night — while I slept — my husband signed me up for a safari. When I found out, I cried. Then I freaked out about the money. My husband calmly said, “We will find the money”. Uh, hello. This life coach can learn a lot from that man and his BLATANT DISREGARD FOR THE IMPOSSIBLE. Shazam.
You could say that other people made my dreams come true or you could say I worked some magic.
Either way, it pays to play.
I can’t explain how it works. If I could, it would not be magic.
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May 5, 2011 | Category: Dreams, Inspiration
I have always wanted to be a surfer girl. Most of my childhood was spent in the Midwest so I dreamed of living near the beach. I longed to be an athlete who could dance on water. Surfers are undeniably cool — ask anyone.
When I was 40, I moved from Seattle to San Diego for the warm and sunny benefits. My new home was three blocks from the beach and surfers were everywhere. They rode beach cruisers with surfboards under their arms. In fact they surf all year long. I admired their passion, commitment and above all, their guts. Even the old guys were out there — while I watched from the sidelines.
I bumped into my surfing dream every day, but I was not getting in the water. Instead, I watched surf documentaries, attended surf competitions, and bought surf books, Hurley sweatshirts and Roxy bikinis. I wandered into surf shops to gaze at the gear and speak to 17 year olds about board design and dynamics. I was moving as close as possible to surfing without actually touching it. So what the hell was going on?
I did not want to be disappointed.
I did not want the experience to be less than what I had imagined. What if I was a surf dud? What if my inner athlete/rock star/daredevil failed me? What if I was deficient in guts and grit? There is no vitamin for that.
Oh wait, yes there is. Turns out you can transform fear into fuel.
First, I realized that NOT SURFING was a big, fat drag. Avoiding disappointment was only causing more disappointment. Ironic? You bet.
Second, I remembered that anything worth doing is worth doing, period. The heart wants what it wants. Turning away from a heart’s desire felt like I had my jeans on backward – uncomfortable and wrong. The moment I accepted any and all surfing outcomes, my resistance evaporated. And once I was in the water and on a surfboard, I was ridiculously happy. I had engaged the dream and anything beyond that would be a bonus.
And now, here is the Official List of Wendy’s Surf Dream Bonuses:
1. We were the first ones on the beach.
2. The waves were just my size.
3. I was not cold.
4. Also in the water were whales and Luna, a surfing dog.
5. Although I crashed a ton, I actually rode several waves.
6. Even when I crashed, I was fine.
7. I laughed a whole lot.
8. Cheap champagne never tasted better.
From my dream-avoidance state, I could not envision a kickass outcome such as this. My brain could not even imagine surfing with whales or a dog. I did not allow room for how good it could be. Makes me ponder where else I am limiting my dreams by seeing only part of what is possible.
Instead of pushing off your dreams, suck ‘em up and become a Dream Hoover like me. Eureka!*
*eureka [yoo-ree-kuh]: used to express delight on finding, discovering or solving something, or finally succeeding in doing something.
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