How I Survived The Worst Question Ever

A few years ago, I attended the TEDx Conference in San Diego.
It’s pretty much what you’d imagine — brilliant innovators, explorers, visionaries and teachers unleashing ideas to change the world. It was no ordinary day so I was excited to draft off these smartypants.

During one of the breaks, I was standing in a long line for the restroom. The woman ahead of me turned around — in what seemed like slo-o-o-w motion — and asked,

“So…what are YOU working on?”

Who, me?woman with head in clouds
My mind was blank. Crap.
I had no answer for this simple question — and it stung.

At first, my superbratty self wanted to say, “Mind your own beeswax lady.”

Then I thought, what AM I doing? And what fool let me into a TED event??

Yeah, it’s a bit dramatic. But as a coach, shouldn’t I know what the hell I’m doing next?

I was between life chapters. I’d moved to San Diego, re-launched my coaching business, booked a trip to South Africa and created Damn Thirsty Adventure Camp.
IMHO, that’s some damn good stuff.

Yet, that restroom rascal got me thinking. I was ready for a new adventure, but what? I could go about this in a couple of ways.

  1. GET BUSY: Vision board / mind map / strategic plan / mastermind group / genie in a bottle / horoscope. Hey, these things are great. I just wasn’t in the mood.
  2. SLOW MY ROLL: Don’t do anything. This might be unexpected advice from a coach but stay with me.
The best way
to find your way
is to relax.

“The importance of restoration is rooted in our physiology. Human beings aren’t designed to expend energy continuously. Rather, we’re meant to pulse between spending and recovering energy.”

If you like research, go here to learn more about relaxing your way to more productivity. If that feels like too much work, do what I do — and just get out of your head. Think less. Flush your mental commode. Pay attention to the scenery. Do more fun stuff.

There is wisdom in taking a break. Focusing on a problem will get you only so far. Solutions often come when we’re not thinking about them. Some of my best ideas pop up when I’m walking on the beach or listening to music. If your superbratty self thinks it’s impossible to get more done by doing less, consider this:

Fear — including all varieties of anxiety and rushing —
causes a tension that chokes off what wants to happen.
Remaining calm, as calm at the end of an event as at the beginning, facilitates a smooth relaxed completion.
-Martha Beck

Having a relaxed, open mind creates some room for what’s next. As you get more and more free, the pull for the future gets stronger and stronger. Lean into the belief that your next idea IS coming. You’ll soon see clues — people and opportunities that will help form what’s next. There’ll be a sense of acceleration and things start clicking. It’s worked for me countless times and it can work for you too.

The world is full of magic things.When you’re in that “between” time, you can buckle down or loosen up. They’re both effective — however, I encourage you to relax your way forward and trust that insight and inspiration will keep you on track with your destiny.


Coasting is cool.
If you don’t believe me, just watch.



champagne ladies at the salon

I’m hosting a FREE (happy) hour of coaching on the first Thursday of each month.

Belly up to the bar (via phone) and bring your questions about life, career + relationships.

Just cruise over here for the details.

The first sip is on February 5th…



Come Thirsty. Leave Fulfilled.

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